Rock n Roll Lyric Cliché #1

"A Crying Shame"

Who uses this phrase in conversation? I haven't noticed anyone say it but it creeps up regularly in song lyrics. It appeared in the Belle and Sebastian song that I just listened to; it is the title of songs by Muse and Jack Johnson, and an album by The Mavericks. "The Crying Shame" is also the name of a folk/rock band in Seattle (thanks Google). I reckon there's a list of rock n roll phrases on a notice board somewhere in the music community for struggling lyricists to borrow from.

Secular music that stereotypical Christians usually like

Sometimes you meet a certain type of Christian, whose favourite bands can be immediately predicted with 100% accuracy.

They will like:

Counting Crows
I'm really unsure about this band. What is it about them? Their most famous song is "shalalalala Mr Jones and me blah blah..." (zzzzzzz) and people talk about it as though it's one of the greatest masterpieces of all time.

Ben Harper
I don't mind Ben Harper. He's pretty good. For some reason, he's really popular amongst Christians. Maybe because he dresses like a youth pastor?

Dave Matthews Band
Yuck! I think it's only Christians that listen to Dave Matthews and his nonsense. Pure mediocrity, at best.

Coldplay
We sang a version of 'Yellow' at church years ago, but the lyrics were changed to "He came across/ died on a cross for you/ and all the things that you do... you were all sinful" Who remembers that?

Maroon 5
Silly name for a band. They're a bit like Counting Crows and Dave Matthews in that no one can work out why they're even famous.

Christian Music

I downloaded the Sojourn Christmas album recently, and was surprised to find myself actually liking it. I normally hate the concept and results of both "Christmas albums" and "Christian music", but this one seems an exception.

This got me thinking about why Christian music is usually so awful, and if it is possible for good (as subjective as that may be) Christian music to exist.



I think one of the main reasons behind Christian music's unlistenable quality, is the reasoning behind its existence. Many Christian bands exist as an alternative to secular bands, so that Christian kids can listen to music that won't be a bad influence on them. Perhaps the people that believe this also believe that music as an art form is "of the world" and Christians need to create their own version of it... That sort of thinking is definitely wrong - music comes from God and is a good thing; it isn't evil. It also explains why this sort of Christian music sounds so bad - because it isn't genuine; it is an imitation of music.

Another reason why Christian music so often sucks: because there is a huge market for it, especially in America. This means there are many bands competing for attention and for money (much like any section of the music industry), which doesn't encourage originality or innovation, it encourages bands to stick to the formula. This leaves room for vague but equally rubbish bands like Creed to pop up, sing about God a little, and sell some records at Koorong.

Christian culture, particularly Christian music, is still in the 1990s. Not so long ago it was still in the 1980s. This explains why there are so many post-grunge Christian guitar bands rockin' out for the Lord. In the 90s, bands like The Newsboys and DC Talk were called a lot of things but I doubt it was ever "ahead of their time".



Here are some more personal reasons why I don't usually listen to Christian music:

- For whatever reason, I just can't bring myself to listen to "praise" music recreationally. I like singing it in Church, but I wouldn't normally put it on at home. I think this has more to do with the sound of the music than the subject matter; I like the Sojourn CD after all...

- I tend to enjoy music that's more understated, lyrics that are more ambiguous, and I prefer a song's "vibe" over its reason for being written.

Christian music isn't all bad though. Here are some examples of Christian music that works well and is pleasing to listen to:

U2 - because they are not a "Christian band", they are a band. A very good band.

Johnny Cash - He was such a legendary figure to most people, that it doesn't really matter to them what he believes.

Sufjan Stevens - He's a brilliant songwriter and musician, and that has cemented him in the music community, even though he does write some undeniably Christian-tinged lyrics.

Sinéad O'Connor's 'Theology' - I don't know what Sinéad believes, only that she's not too pumped for the Pope, but this album is really good and the songs are based on parts of the Old Testament. I read an interview she did about making this album, where she said something about the Old Testament being much cooler than the New Testament - if you write a song about loving Jesus, it's daggy, but if you quote the Psalms then it's poetic. I reckon there's some truth in that.

Bob Dylan's 'Slow Train Coming' - I know he got a lot of crap for his Christian period but at the same time, Bob Dylan was such a legend, there are people willing to follow him in any musical direction he chooses to take. This is is best album from that period and it contains some really cool gospel songs.

Anything 'Gospel' - Genuine gospel music will always be cool.



Basically, I think Christian music is good when it doesn't try too hard; when the artists' faith is a more natural part of self-expression, which it will be if they are making music as a Christian anyway.

What do you guys think about Christian music? Do you ever listen to it?

Bands vs Singer-Songwriters

Do you listen more to bands or to individual songwriters? A study of my CD collection has revealed I have more albums by bands, but not by a large margin. A few years ago I thought bands were the only legitimate form of music; I couldn't stand the idea of solo artists. Now though, I think I listen more to singer-songwriters than bands. When I say "singer-songwriter", I don't just mean some earnest, acoustic guitar-strumming, ballad maker; I'm talking about multi-instrumentalists and people that have a backing band, as well.

I reckon people that perform and have more control over their own songs, are able to create a more personal feeling in their music. I'm more likely to "connect" with individual songwriters than to the music of a group of people. Bands seem to treat songs differently because there's usually only one or two people that have had input into the lyrics and meaning of a song, and the more people involved the less personal it becomes. I'm not knocking the idea of bands - I like them, but if I wrote songs I don't think I'd want other people messing with them!

Currently Annoyed By...

Here's a list of musicians/singers/bands that I find exceptionally irritating at the moment. This is not a list of "Most Annoying Bands of All Time"; I don't think such a list would be possible because my annoyance of things fluctuates over time.

Josh Pyke
The new Pete Murray. Bad songs, average voice and a huge following of people you would rather avoid (the type of people that annually attend the Falls Festival)

Avril Lavigne
She capitalises on the increasing popularity of punk rock by taking the worst of that genre and combining it with the worst type of pop music. I think I have a tendency to dislike anyone famous that's young - especially singer/actress/fashion designers.

Cog/The Butterfly Effect
Yes, I know they're not the same band, but they have both been getting an inconceivable amount of praise. I read somewhere that Cog where classified as "post nu-metal" - I'm not sure if that is common agreement but it certainly summarises their sound as far as I'm concerned. If these "whinge-metal" bands weren't Australian, no one would take any interest in them.

John Mayer
I don't get it. Breathy vocals... forgettable songs, except for one particular tune I wish I could forget.

Bright Eyes/Conor Oberst
(Whatever he calls himself these days) One thing that will always irritate me about some singers, movies, or books is transparent motives. I don't like it when you can immediately see what someone is trying to achieve and who they're trying to appeal to. This guy is so obviously trying to be a cute, indie Robert Smith. Why else would he call himself "Bright Eyes" and sing as though he's about to cry.

Thirsty Merc
I don't think I need to explain.

Kimya Dawson
This lady was responsible for a lot of the 'Juno' soundtrack. Her music epitomises what I can't stand about "quirky" teenage irony (although she's actually in her mid 30s). Also, I really dislike "anti-folk" as a genre - it seems completely pointless to me.

Jason Mraz
Just awful! He even looks annoying, like someone who would audition for Big Brother. This acoustic chill-out pseudo-hippy music needs to stop. He's obviously a big fan of Jack Johnson, which is fine but we really don't need two Jack Johnsons, do we?

Karaoke Guilt

Last night, I went to a fun party held by Jonny. There was some live music by people who knew what they were doing. When this part of the evening drew to a close, the floor was opened for anyone who felt like having a bash on an instrument or with their voice... towards the end of the night, it was just bad, bad karaoke. No one was even listening; most people had gone home. There were moments when the party could have come to a fitting end - Nathan and Fairlie's (The Steadfast Shepherd) impromptu mini-gig seemed like a great finale. But no, we needed to sing a few more terrible Powderfinger songs, and of course 'You Raise Me Up'. It was heaps of fun, but I felt a bit rotten when we finally went home.

This got me thinking about karaoke guilt. When I do karaoke, I'm usually left with a feeling, somewhat akin to committing a grave sin. Part of the reason is because I can never stop at just one song. It always feels natural to do several more, I suppose because nobody is leaping up to take the microphone from me. I think this feeling of seediness also comes from singing songs that are far beyond my (limited) range; knowing that I cannot sing something but doing it anyway, and being well aware that the "audience" are not enjoying it leads to a feeling of mild regret, along with the absence of humiliation (a feeling that should be present but isn't). Maybe it's all that, combined with the feeling you get when you stay up too late.

Does anyone else experience karaoke guilt? Or has anyone had any extra-bad karaoke moments?

Rockstars that could be mistaken for bogans

Bon Scott


James Hetfield


The Edge


Rod Stewart


Amy Winehouse


Air Supply (Don't they look like a couple of bogan dads having too much fun at a wedding?)

Shit Songs on Perfect Albums

An idea of Mikey's.

'Zoo Station' from Achtung Baby (U2)
Not sure how many would agree but I've always thought this album gets off to a bad start. I love all of its other songs but could never get into this one.

'Dr Robert' and 'Yellow Submarine' from Revolver (The Beatles) Could almost include 'Taxman' but I'll admit it's a well written song. 'Dr Robert' is just a nothing song and 'Yellow Submarine' is irritating and silly.

'I Want You (She's So Heavy)' from Abbey Road (The Beatles)Faaaaaaaaar too long. I know it makes 'Here Comes the Sun' more appropriate but I still can't listen to the whole thing.

'Dead Flowers' from Sticky Fingers (The Rolling Stones)
Not a terrible song, but I don't think it fits on this album.

'Sulk' from The Bends (Radiohead)
It's just not as good as the other songs. Mikey also mentioned 'Bones' but I like that one.

'Don't Talk (Put Your Head On My Shoulder)' from Pet Sounds (The Beach Boys)
Too much saccharine. This song nauseates me. It almost ruins the album for me but not quite.

'Romance in Durango' from Desire (Bob Dylan)
I always have to skip this one; it really grates with me. Unfortunately, 'Abandoned Love' is a brilliant song that was left off this album... I know what I'd swap it with.

Any others?

Watch Me Disappear

I've been holding off writing a review of this CD for a little while. Augie March albums tend to reveal more and more after several listens. They're complex, both musically and lyrically. With their latest album 'Watch Me Disappear', I think my first impression will be somewhat of a lasting one.

Augie March are one of the best bands in Australia. You should definitely listen to their first three albums. One of the things I like about them is they write about Australian places, and history, without causing embarrassment. They even have songs about Hobart ('Mt Wellington Reverie' from Moo, You Bloody Choir, 'The Slant' and get this - 'The Glenorchy Bunyip', both from Watch Me Disappear). In that regard, they are one of the most "Oz" bands I can think of... they're up there with Midnight Oil and Cold Chisel.

Their last album brought them commercial success so it was always going to be interesting to see where they went next. 'Watch Me Disappear' sounds like Augie March, but unfortunately, it sounds like Augie March on auto pilot. Some of the songs seem empty when compared to their previous offerings. It's still a nice album to listen to and a few of the songs - 'Becoming Bryn', 'The Slant', and 'Dogsday' are among the best they've ever written. One of the great things about Augie March, are the lyrics of singer Glenn Richards. They are just as good on this album. He's able to write phrases that don't always make sense but sound great and conjure up fantastic imagery (ahem). "The mothers' competitions, the fathers' stifled yawns/
In this hazy picnic season, light beer and gentle treason."

While 'Sunset Studies' and 'Strange Bird' (the first two albums) are difficult to pigeon-hole into a genre, this album falls neatly into the "pop" box. It lacks the attention to detail of their earlier songs, where every chord change and melody were unpredictable and fresh. I don't feel as though this album will improve much with age, either...

I was a little disappointed with the overall result, but very pleased to hear some great new songs. It's worth getting on special.

Pseudo Reggae

I think one of the worst types of songs is something I will call "white-man-pseudo-reggae". It seemed to be particularly popular during the 70s and consists of British rock bands (or singers) trying their hand at reggae. Usually, one of these songs will appear on an otherwise completely rock n roll album, making it stick out like a sore thumb, while being as equally painful as one.

Here are some examples:

Elton John - 'Jamaica Jerk-off' from Goodbye Yellow Brick Road
The Rolling Stones - 'Luxury' from It's Only Rock 'n' Roll
Led Zeppelin - 'D'yer Mak'er' from Houses of the Holy
UB40 - All of their songs from all of their albums.

This practice of "white-man-pseudo-reggae" is not unlike a misguided, middle aged man that skateboards to work, in order to be like the younger people.
I don't mind reggae in limited doses. I like Bob Marley. But it just sounds so wrong when people that are so obviously not Bob Marley "give it a go".

Sgt. Pepper: Classic or Not?

In a comment on my previous post, Pos claims that the Beatles' Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band should not be considered a classic.

He writes:

Compare it to Abbey Road, The White Album, Revolver or Rubber Soul.

Fixing a Hole is filler, She's Leaving Home is dreary, Within You Without You is unnecessary, Lovely Rita sounds like it was cobbled together out of other Beatles songs, and did we really need two versions of the title track?

The definition of a classic album that is not classic.

What do people think of this album? Classic or overrated?
For the record, I think it's a classic.

Classic Albums That Are Not Classic

Elton John - Goodbye Yellow Brick Road



I've been trying to enjoy this album for about 5 years and haven't managed to do so. I remember buying it under the impression that it was "one of the best albums of all time" or some sort of nonsense like that. There are some songs on it that I like - The first four on the album, particularly the title track, but most of the others are so-so at best. At worst, they are clunky, daggy, over-produced piano rockers. The whole album doesn't sound like it has stood the test of time. It has moments of greatness and moments of yuck; this is best summarised by listening to 'This song has no title' - a beautiful verse ruined by a dreadful, out-of-place chorus.

I reckon this was the logic used by music critics when reviewing this album:

Elton John has some classic songs
therefore Elton John is "classic".
Goodbye Yellow Brick Road is Elton John's best album
therefore Goodbye Yellow Brick Road is a "classic album"

Hardly a sound argument.

Scary Songs

I think many of the creators of black metal/death metal would like to think they're being pretty scary. They're not. They're just geeks with long hair and black t-shirts that growl into microphones. Fast drumming and guitar riffs (no matter how "heavy") are not scary; guitar solos are definitely not going to send someone into a state of terror. Marylin Manson would like to think he's frightening. He looks like a drag queen. Alice Cooper and Ozzy Osbourne have basically given up and are now just funny old men.

No, the music that has the greatest potential to scare, is as far away from music as it can possibly be. Usually it's referred to as "industrial" or "musique concrète" (there is a difference between the two but I can't be bothered finding or writing about it), and it doesn't sound like anything created by a regular band.

Here are some songs that may just freak you out if you listen to them alone, in the dark (they probably won't have the same effect, during the day):

Frankie Teardrop - Suicide
The first time I heard this, I knew it was meant to be pretty creepy and I had my cynic hat on. It sounded almost funny at first; the singer's voice is strange and his delivery of the corny lyrics is pretty amusing. But the song draws you in and the relentless background noise, along with the sudden shrieking, make for an intense 10 minutes.

Revolution 9 - The Beatles
I'm not sure if this song is intended to freak people out... I think it's just an experiment. It appears on the White Album and I would often skip it because it was too long and not tuneful enough (or rather, not tuneful at all). Once though, I was listening to the White Album when I was in bed and I dosed off, then woke up when Revolution 9 was playing. There is definitely something creepy about hearing that "number 9... number 9... number 9... number 9..." when you're lying by yourself in complete darkness.

Hamburger Lady - Throbbing Gristle
I don't even know what this song is about, and I don't want to know. The sound of it is chilling enough.

Come to Daddy - Aphex Twin
I can remember seeing the film clip to this, late one night on Rage. It scared the crap out of me. While it's not a terrifying song, it was creepy enough to have an effect on me at the time.

What are some songs you find a bit freaky?

Listening to the lead up to Obama's speech...

You could be forgiven for thinking you'd tuned into HOFM or somesuch drivel. Are these some crusty songs or what?!

Black

I was trying to think of bands with the word "black" in the title, and I realised that nearly all the ones I thought of were quite similar. They all have psychedelic tendencies with strong roots in the 70s. Black Sabbath (of course), The Black Crowes, Black Rebel Motorcycle Club, The Black Keys, The Black Angels, Black Mountain, Black Lips...

Why do you think that is? Maybe the use of the word "black" by these bands is an ironic (or even, a sincere) take on something "cool" or "dark"; very rock n roll.

Novelty Songs

I'm not a big fan of novelty or "funny" songs. They're amusing the first time you hear them but after that, they just seem pointless and lame. The novelty wears off all too quickly for me. I don't mind it when (talented) comedians make up a song for a comedy act - like Bill Bailey or Flight of the Concords. I like some artists that skirt but never quite cross the border to Noveltysongland; you know, people like Jonathan Richman (Modern Lovers), Jens Lekman, Darren Hanlon, and dare I say it... Anthony Rochester. They write silly songs but they're not written for strictly comedic purposes.

I don't like Weird Al Yankovic, The Bloodhound Gang, or that song 'Shaddap you face'. After they stop being funny (if they ever were), my mind doesn't know what to do with them; I can't take them seriously as songs and I can't listen to them as comedy.

It's pretty hard to write a decent comedy song. It's one thing to string a few rhymes together and make them fit into a familiar tune, but it's much more challenging to use wit and innovation as well as clever rhyming. Even if you succeed and end up with a popular, chart-topping novelty song - I will find it incredibly irritating after the third or fourth listen.